Okay friends, this is a big one. These past two years have been a couple of the biggest in my life. I’ve made a lot of life changing decisions and done a lot of growing up ; with the risk of sounding completely and utterly cliche, i’m a changed woman, dammit!! Today I thought i’d share with you a topic very near and dear to my heart – fuck boys.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Anybody who knows me well enough would support me on this one, to I say i’ve had a few pretty dysfunctional relationships would be an understatement. Okay jess this sounds like it’s gonna be pretty damn depressing. not to worry!! The good news?? I may have been through some serious doom and gloom in the love life department, but right when I wasn’t looking my current boyfriend came out of nowhere and I seriously couldn’t be happier. I’ve always known I wasn’t being treated right in previous relationships but it really took finding the right person to realize just how freaking terrible I had it before ….
You name it, i’ve been there. I’ve been lied to, cheated on, betrayed and tossed around from side to side. “Yes, babe I wanna be with you .. nope jk you’re not the one.” “I want you! just not today.” I’ve been the sad little girl sitting by the phone waiting to hear anything. I’ve started fights just to get a bit of attention and i’ve cried in bed listening to old Taylor Swift ballads. Yep … I sunk that low.
It took me a while to figure this out, but to any of you fellow chicas out there going through the same thing I did, I cannot stress this enough … you are worth so much more than that!!!!
It took me a long time to pick myself up after all that heartache but having that time for myself, that little period of time for me to just be me was probably the most important time in my life. I had to learn to just be Jess before I could be anybody’s girlfriend. Back then, I was changing myself to be somebody I thought was desirable enough to get my own boyfriends attention and i’m sorry but how f’d up is that? If you’re dating somebody, you should not ever have to fight for their attention and you should not feel like you aren’t good enough. It’s easy to tell somebody in a shitty relationship – girl, just give it up! But if you’ve ever been involved in one you’d know it just isn’t that simple. When I was younger, I really thought that I was nothing if I didn’t have a boys attention and even though I was being treated like trash I really didn’t think i’d ever be good enough to find somebody else. Now it may have taken me a
little bit long ass time to get my shiz together, but look how far i’ve come. It wasn’t easy but I DID pick myself up and I realized my worth. And now? I’ve found somebody who loves me just as I am. I’ve found somebody I can share all my secrets with, somebody to sing disney songs at the top of my lungs with. He’s my best friend and I never even saw him coming.
Soooooo, moral of the story?
You are beautiful. You are strong. You are a freaking goddess!!! And don’t any of you dare let any f**k boys convince you otherwise.