I’ve been absolutely bursting with excitement waiting to share this post with you guys and here it finally is on the 1 year anniversary of getting it – the inside scoop on my latest and favourite tattoo. While this isn’t my first bit of ink, it definitely is the most meaningful out of my two flower tats and I would love nothing more than to share with you all what it really does mean to me.
If you’ve been following along on my instagram for a while, you know that last September your girl finally gathered the courage to sit my butt in a tattoo studio, perfectly still while possibly one of the dopest people i’ve met stabbed my arm a million times with a needle (lol YIKES) and damn was it worth it.
I’ve known for a while that I wanted to get a rose as a part of this tattoo and i’ll be honest with you and say it doesn’t necessarily have much meaning other than the fact that I think they’re absolutely beautiful. Rather than a stem coming from the bottom of my rose, I asked my artist to have the flower stem into the word STRENGTH. I hummed and haw’d a lot about what word I wanted inked onto my body for the rest of my life and after a lot of thinking it finally dawned on me that if i’ve learned anything about myself in the last couple of years it’s that I am so much more capable, resilient, and stronger than I ever could have imagined i’d be.
In the last couple of years i’ve really had to come to terms with adult life in a hurry and it would be the understatement of the century to say that it was scary. It was down right terrifying. I woke up one day and it seemed like every single thing in my life; everything I thought I knew and many of the things I thought would be, were wrong. I had a very solid image of what I thought my life was going to turn into and it really did seem like all at once it was flushed and that was difficult for me to come to terms with. I’ve lost friends, i’ve lost family, and i’ve been hurt and deceived by some of the only people I never thought would hurt me in this world. I’ve had to reevaluate my career path, i’ve changed my school major, i’ve struggled, and i’ve been angrier than i’ve ever been in my entire life. I’ve had to walk away from toxic people & situations even though it killed me to do so, and most importantly i’ve learned the true meaning and value of forgiveness. I’ve faced a lot of demons in the last few years and to be honest I really used to think that someone out in the universe had it in for me. Quite honestly it’s been some of the loneliest couple years of my life which is a really strange thing to experience, especially when you’re constantly surrounded by so many people. I’ve done a lot of really hard work on myself over the last little while and i’ve come to terms with the changes in my life and i’ve realized that nobody out there has it out for me … this is just life, and i’m certainly not the only one going through it. The truth is, life can suck. People can be horrible and we don’t always have control over our own situations. It would be lovely to be able to have control over everything in our lives but that’s just not reality. The only thing we can do is control our own actions. Be KIND, be CARING, be SENSITIVE and UNDERSTANDING. For so long, I held on to so much anger towards the people who have hurt me and I realized that the only person that was hurting was myself. I know who I am now, or at least i’m starting to. I am RESILIENT, I am KIND and I am STRONG.
My tattoo is a reminder to myself of where i’ve been and how far i’ve come and how far i’ll continue to grow. It’s a reminder of how strong i’ve been through some of the trials i’ve had to face but it’s also a reminder to have strength and keep my head up through the inevitable challenges i’ll face in the future. Have strength and be kind.
If you’ve been looking for some kind of sign, or reason, this is it. You are not alone. You are LOVED. Have strength, you got this.